imissyou.don't go pls..

yes, it's finally FRIDAY again.. have been really busy this week.. Busy with my F&N coursework and those uncompleted maths and english hmework.. And so, really gonna take a good break this weekend and den may 1st out on a outing again. This time will be escape theme park.. haha.. Really gonna enjoy myself this time becoz the last few times i went there didn't really play while except the first time when i was pri 6, i went there with my friends and we play like those mad woman.. Going to try the haunted hse, becoz that last year i went, i stood in the queue for juz that pathetic 5 mins and i backed off. The reason was i heard some infants wailed loudly while they were on their trip and in the end being carried out by their parents with their face melted with tears. I backed off after that and headed on to other games. I rmb we onli played two games that day cause of my working time and so... missed all the good games man.. ok.. looking forward to that day. its juz two days away..

hoho. Today accompanied that *smelly pig to Ajunjid to collect a rabbit that someone gave up for adoption. So we took train from SMB mrt all the way to there. So i was standing beside him ya? And while in the train suddenly i smelled farts. It's really an unbearable smell. But i dare nt say it out it's becoz i tot it was others who did that. And i told him i smelled something wrong and he admitted that it was him! Omg.. Stupid pig, can u be more considerate next time? We are in the train and at that point of time the train was squeezed with lots of ppl! Haha.. And nw, i purposely put this post up to embarrass u! It's really a short post today. Nth much to update. Keep on waiting~

Just when i thought that i'm xinfu and when i'm at the highest point of love, somethings brought me down. I really don't knw what to do nw. I'm really confused. My mind is thinking mad. I thought i could already see my future, but it all disappear within that one second. I don't see any images, him and things nw. i used to have beautiful dreams. Sometimes i think why am i making things big, spoiling moods. Please blame it on my love to u is too deep. I can't stand every little obstacles becoz i wan it to be perfect. But i don't think we can reach there. Sorry that i made it so frank. But i have to. Are u really going to giv things up if we r really separated? Why make it liek this? I perserved everytime u know that. But everytime u seems like it's nothing to u, whereas me making the calls and do all those stupid things. I don't except u to return me anything. Becauz i knew love ever gives it never claims. But neither do i expect u time and again to giv me hurting words. I don't wan to say that i'm perfect becoz i'm really not. But at least i do apologise with sincere. Ur apology to me was no cure becoz i knew u didn't take it seriously. U juz wan me to stop everything that's why u said that. Is that all ur love to me? Is that all? If that's the case i really got nth to say ba. =)

I'm so fucking sick today. My body is burning like hell and i'm really feeling terrible. Lucky there's him, my husband, with me today. If not i will be suffering alone. He's my everything i swear. There to sayang me and teng me. It felt so good. LaoGong, i promised not to leave u again. Because i don't want myself to be suffering. Hoho. My next lookout will be on 1 may when i am going escape with u. My throat really felt better nw. Thanks for ur honey drink too. So sweet. U did many things for me, but i din't noe hw to show that i really appreciate that. I believer we are the most xinfu couple and i'm the most xinfu girlfriend. Gees.. And i know u care abt me and my health. That's why u get pekchek today. I'm sick today so that's why my mood nt so good. Sorry* see i so weida, apologise in my blog. hoho. My apology is sincere. Ok, waiting for u to come online. =)

If i can have a second chance
Certain things i have chose to let go right from that day. I don't want to vex myself with this. I noe my love cant b perfect over how hard i've tried. I will nt leave. I will have the determind to carry on. But i resigned to fate. Don't talk about this, i had put down a really big stone today. That's finishing my 'O' level practical. Going on further, soon, i will be finishing my coursework for F&N and hopefully i can spend more time to concentrate on my other subjects. My eyes are closing real soon becoz ytd i only slpt for 3 to 4 hours. It's really tiring becoz for the past few days i have been slping around that time. Have lack of slp and problems of different kinds keep coming to me. Family and BGR. CW, we are barely 8 months and we are experiencing so much obstacles. Please let's pray to God more k. Maybe it can help to improve on our relationships back to the style like the first 3 months. I never lie. It's really fucking duper sweet. It has always been my memories and wish to go back. Although it seems impossible nwadays. Almost everyday we r having quarrels and all those stupid things.

blanked；
I don't know why but i 'm just nt feeling good today. Perhaps i am too tired? And that makes my temper boils. I believe Love should be perfect and nice throughout. And i want my love journey to be the same. But sometimes i can't get it. Hoho. Let 's make it to be perfect dear. Really fucking stress about tmr 's practical. Fuck that teacher. Really angry with her sometimes. Rushing ppl as she thought we are robots. And fuck u k , stop comparing us with ur FORMER students. If u love them so much, pls do pack up and go. I won't miss u at all. I'm stress abt everything nw. Everything comes to my mind has been digested into stress. Family, friends, bf and school. Sad to say that i'm nt happy in this family at all. Parents are juz unreasonable like hell. Can't think of anything to post nw. sorry peeps

my dad~
He's having moodswing today i think? From the minute he stepped into the house he scolded me! Fuck him man. Spoil my whole afternoon! And again, for nothing he scolded me for not attending today School's sports day when he already knew that i won't be going! Fuck him twice! So he did talk to me juz nw when he's feeling better i guess? But i ignored him. When the hell did we have just a rule that we should be the ones u are giving ur anger to? Sorry, i don't admit defeat at all. I have looked through the recipes that i'm going to cook for my practical on thurs and i'm quite relieved that i think i'm able to handle it. Hohoho. Because when i was choosing the dishes, i was in a rash! So tmr will be the day i'm going to shop for my ingredients. Another good news is that i have already received the e-mail from mediacorp for the collection of my phone! Ok, gonna collect it soon before the it's dued. But the phone is not what i wanted. So, nt so much of joy actually. My day today is not bad except for being scolded. So guys, carry on waiting.

sick~
Got food poisoning and fever becoz of that stupid KUEY i bought frm that khatib pasa malam. So irritating, because i got a terrible stomachache and high fever during midnight and cause me to be absent from sch for monday. But it was quite alright nw, except that still have abit of stomache and headache. Comment on my dear laogong that bought me a meat porridage back home for me to eat and accompany me at home. My best husband! Got tons and tons of homework to be done. And a practical exam for O level this thursday, i have yet tried out my recipe. Nvm. Tml i'm going to try it out. Hope it would be fine. Can't fail this subject because it's one of the sub i'm going to concentrate on for my 'O's! That's all peeps

Today~
Wake up early in the morning at 6. Bath and all these, we reached Redhill at around 7 plus 8. Wait till 10 plus be4 it's our turn. Asked for my great-grandma. I can just say i was really surprised at that time because at first didn't really believe this kinda thing. Ah ma, since so long i have called u since today. I really missed calling u. And u touching my hand and remind me to study hard over and over again. I don't know if i have this chance again. To hear u saying u dote on me so much. Now that we know that u are happy down there with ah gong and so many ppl we were relieved. I really regret not cherishing u when u are with us. Sorry i didn't get to have a second chance.

Gosh~
Gonna start everything anew. My lifestyle and all and i hoped to get used to it asap.
Ok, today is really a bad day. My sis not going Genting anymore. So what abt me? Hais, and the tickets had already been booked. And it's going to b three days there. I agreed to go so as not to disappoint my dad. Ok, really ate alot today. Hohoho.. since like everyday i ate alot isn't it? So mad thinking abt my coursework. I have to buy all the ingredients myself. Damn that fcuking teacher. Damn her to be so mean to me!

I'm hurt when i gave my trust to his words and found out that i'm being betrayed.
I'm sad to lose him because of this.
I cried because i knew i can't let everything go even after i leave
I will be missing his presence with me but all these are gone
Because of one thing he did and i can't stand
And i need to hold on to my tears infront of everyone and say that i'm fine
when actually i'm not at all.
Because that guy whom i loved deeply and ready to stood by him
betrayed my trust.
I can trust no one more.

Now i know~
U are a flirt! Yes! Leopard cannot change it's spot. And i was too naive to believe u. I ended everything, our future, memories and all. I don't wanna keep all these. It hurts. I will have a new start from nw. No use brooding over the past and someone that is not worth it! TAke care. We are not getting together again.

Went Zoo today~
Quite fun there. LOlx But too tired today so can't recall back. More to be recall back tml~
so shag nw

Zoo tml. =)

Coing to Zoo tml. Hohoho. Since so long ago i haven step in there. But i'm afraid that the weather would be hot or rain. So gonna bring a cap and umbrella along. Weee~ have to start packing my bag tonight. If not i will be rushing tmr morning. Feeling so tired nw. I'm starting to get the stress of being a Sec 5 student! Teachers are all rushing when they teach, higher demands for hmework and i am nt catching up! I am already slacking in lessons for History and social studies. Others are still alrite, i'm still working hard i guess? Don't wish to waste another one year in this sch and then end up in ITE next year. That's nt going to b the case. Argh.. Stress thinking about that. My next exam is coming soon~ 2 more weekks i guess? Hmm.. that faT pig so late haven come online.. waste my time waiting 4 him! LOLx. That fatpig i'm talking abt is the only who dotes me the most. Love him so much but he always wan *luan luan xiang becoz juz nw i nv giv him kiss. I don't noe how to address it to u, but don't waste ur time on luan luan xiang ler~ because i have no other guy and i love no one other than u, that is Mr KorCheewEe. Though sometimes i admit that i treat u not good. Wahaha. Cause girls got moodswing, esp me.

Bad day~
My dad seems to be having pms today! He was like scolding me and giving attitude don't know for what reasons. He's lame. Can't say too much about this. Let's put aside this. Talk 'bout that fatpig ba. Always like to act like small baby. Blehx. But treat me very good as in 'good' in bullying me! Wahaha. LaOgong oOo, treat me better k.. i know u trying ur best le but still not enough. I wants to be the most xinfu wife k. I WANT TO BE UR WIFE! I don't care whether u wants me norT. But i want u. Only u throughout my life with me without anyone else. And i know u can't live without me too! i'm so excited thinking about the phone i'm going to buy! Pink for me and urs is blue. So sweet rite. Thanks for ur everything i wanna say. I really treasure u and the times we are together because it's always so sweet. Eating with u, joking and fooling around. Love u honey. Don't ever leave me. Muacks

It hurts.
Maybe u don't it is, i was pointing at what u have just said an hour before. U doubt it. I can't think anything nw. To think that i have given everything, but still i can't get what i want. Maybe u think that it's irritating to be talking to me and i don't reply u. But have u ever thought of urself? For every 3 hours we meet. At least 2 hours of that u wants or were in arcade. And this is not the first time. Yes, other guys do have their girlfriends besides them for game, but for me ain't it too long? There's no point telling u anything because i think it's useless. U can never get the fact right. Even that, i have no right to remain silence when i'm angry and have no right to throw temper because of this. And furthermore, u still doubt that there were other reasons. U doubt me. I don't wanna reply ur two msgs because i think it's useless. Everything is useless since u can doubt me of this. It's useless to think. No one would cares. I hate seeing u walking away from me, living me in that place. But already did it. I hate staring at ur back feeling u away from me. But i have to accept all these because it's fate.
Am so stress about about the F&N project nw. Father, please, i really prayed that things will really go smooth for me. I am stress about everything. Send me an angel and bring me up with u. I don't wish to stay at this place which Satan is controlling. It's taking away my soul and polluting my mind. But how can i?

Back here again.
LOLx.. i fought with my father juz nw. And what the hell, he thought that he is so strong as ever but i proved him wrong. He wanted to pin me down but sorry again, he was the one being pinned down. And it was by me. Wahaha. Slapped his shoulder and dared him for a fight. Hehe. So naughty. We are going on a Family Genting Trip. It's confirmed just nw, on the 9th of June. Really shag today, and i slept through the lessons. Din't understand maths chapter currently. And have to finish tons and tons of maths hmework that was left undone during the weekends by TODAY if not Mrs Goh is going to kill me tmr. And i'm so stressed about my F&N coursework! Have to decide my dishes on Wed which is only two days away! How can? She is really rushing me mad! Damn her man. So excited, visiting Zoo this friday with Laogong. Though there are times when we are mad at each other, have different opinions, do different things but at all times i knew, he always love and care for me with all his heart. And that's enough. There are times when i think of leaving and say those words that i knew would hurt u but at all times i do love and care for u. And i know u knew that i don't meant what i say. That's why u forgave me everytime. There's something that i'm really proud of, that is having u standing beside me is really an honour. I don't sweet talk and i really mean what i have said. Trust me. I din't say this to anyone else be4. It's real.

Another saturday~
Today is fun and i feel that the time passes so fast today. Cause i haven't spent enough time with him yet. Wahaha. Play arcade today, so scared that can't get rid of the arcade addict next time and will be like last time playing a few dollarz everyday! That's not going to be the case man. Oh ya, maybe we have spent too long a time in the arcade so time passes past. Next time don't. Fatpig, i really enjoy the time like today we didn't quarrel(don't say abt the first hour becoz i nt happy being bully!). Enjoy eating chicken wings with u, holding ur hands and so many things that we had. U CANNOT bully me le k? I am the one who always dunno from where the hell come kena bully and after that being pointed that i am the one bullying ppl. Hohoho. I love u as ever. Dint change one bit except it getting deeper and deeper. Very tired nw and so i can't think much. Nth else to say just wanna repeat one more time that i'll love u forever. This is not going to change. Muacks.

U made me disppointed
Don't think that if other girls can tolerate u scolding vulgar to them and they can take it, u can give it to me. Sorry, i'm not going to be angry over this. But i really despised u. U are just another one like some other guys who scolded vulgar at their gfs! I despised them just like u! U said that u are wasting sms on me? Yes, i really wan to leave. Because i really can't take it. We can't be together because we are really different. You are making me so sick and fustrated everytime. I just asked something a normal bf would giv their gf. Something that i don't have. And u say that i'm too guo fen. I really can't stand u anymore. Just say i'm a bytch to keep asking and asking. But truly, i think my love for u have been in vain since u can say like this. Don't bother to give me sweet talk because i don't need it anymore. I'm strong. I don't need what thost 13 and 14 years old would need. Coaxing and sweet talk from there puppy love. Sorry, i need care and attention. That's something that u have not given me for the past 7th month. And i'm tired of it.

Another new blogskin
There's abit new to my blogskin this time. Last time i chose all with dark blackgrounds, but nw i chose to remain white. Hoho. It's so artistic to me! Btw, so real relaxed to spend my whole day at hme because i need nt attend school today. And i was so bored that i even found a new cursor for my mouse! It's a pig that have wings. I have many to choose from. So i can change it everyday. Still brooding over the Genting Trip. My sis is not going and so i am nw hesitating whether to go. Cause there's no one to play with there. Everyone have their own company there expt me. What a boring trip it would be if i were to be there. But my parents kept forcing me. I don't get it sometimes. What is not good abt being in Singapore during the Holidays. It's so nice being here k. I am a typical Singaporean and I love Singapore so much!
And sometimes i feel so irritated by him. He always doesn't giv a damn abt me. Don't bother to even msg me in the afternoon, came hme also didn't. Say will be here in msn, but nw? Let it be, he's like that. I can't change the fact right? So be it. And nw, I'm getting fustrated for nothing. I guess he doesn't care much too! The fact is there and is already there, no use complusing.

Nth to do.
Jus reached hme and i've got nth to do. That's why decided to post again. Second post for today so, sorry, i'm lacking of ideas. Been to sunplaza juz nw and gosh, that place is so damn small and got nth to walk about at all! Still thinking about wher to go on saturday~ because Singapore is really just too small. Can spent about two days walking around and that's it. I don't understand why sometimes i tend to brood heavily over problems that shouldn't be a problem. It really makes me so stress. I'm contented with the current blog skin but still wanna take the best one. And also, contented with my life, because i have a responsible husband with me nw who takes good care of me. Pig, pls dote on ur baby more k. * Don't keep abuse me, i got temper de k*
Oh yaya, i got a shock just nw. When i was opening the dustin, i saw some big ants if i'm nt wrong or maybe it's small cockroaches with a big one! Fuck! It really scared the hell out of me!

Impressed.
I'm really impressed by ur actions. Really. I din't know u have such skills of learning so fast. After knowing u for 5 years? Yes, ur ugly side came out. The fact that nw u are hating other people for ur own mistake, or is the fact that u are just another clone of her. So before u are pointing ur fingers at others, please turn to ur back, whether there is any one pointing at u. I din't noe u are that kind of sickos till monday. Haha. Good, thanks God,though it's abit late nw, but i there's still time. We are all living for a lifetime, and true friends are supposed to be for a lifetime but i guess u are not in my life. Because i hate people like u who just love to take ur friends for granted. That's it for nw. I don't wish to spoil ur reputation. =)
Ok, lets talk about my day. I've totally given up on social studies and history because of that teacher who can't teach and makes the lesson boring! But i'm loving CHEM so much as i would prefer the whole day to be CHEM day. Really thanks to my teacher. And i'm worried abt myself. I have been really eating alot recently. First, i add a plate of rice with meat and egg. And i'm really not full at all. That rice can't full my stomach? And so, i bought another bowl of noodle. And plus two bottle of iced lemon tea and lastly a fruit as dessert, the guava. I haven finish yet even when i'm walking up to my class! I'm so greedy. LoLx

Shag.
Damn tired and lazy today, but i enjoy the lessons in school expt for HISTORY. I enjoy Chem lessons by Mrs Lau cause i'm starting to get hold of this subject or rather on this topic, Moles, well. Just simple calculations will do. Ate really alot today, guess no one eat as much as me? I ate two sausage muffin and two iced milo. It cost me only abt 5 bucks? Thought i would be very full and rest for recess. But i ate a malay chicken rice with one bottle of iced lemon tea! Gosh! That's overeating man! And then i vomitted out. That's my retribution i guess. Whaha. Really tired nwadays, don't understand why too. Lucky this week and next week is going to be a short week of four days, this week will be speech day, those not involved will be spared the whole day * lucky i got myself out of it and next week will be a Good Friday. It's a public holiday. Still planning of where to go next fri. Zoo? or any other suggestions? Think of changing my blogskin again, because i wan a nicer one. But i'm lazy! The website is so fucking slow. And i'm really going on diet soon. I'm getting fatter and it's so ugly! Don't look as cute anymore! Have been rushing my F&N 'O' level coursework recently, another word, our teacher is rushing us! And i can say that i'm so suay that the research i had done that consists of 16 pages cannot be open and print! So, i have to retype all again. Just started typing just nw and i only just finished the third page. Although i enjoy typing, but it's just too tiring. All those adjusments must be the same and blah blah blah. This is giving me so much stress. Have to come up with my three dishes by next week? Development, Decision making, recipes, food order and planning. That's so alot. I wanna complain! I've got no enough time! Bodoh. Shall end here. Look forward for another post peeps!

Real bad day.
Sorry, i can't really think right nw. My mind is in a mess and i don't know what am i thinking nw. And i'm feeling damn fucking down peeps! I really don't know if i'm really right to get into this relationship. Pls don't blame me for nt believing ur love. Because i had long lose confidence in guys, esp when they say they are true to me, only me and these are all fucking bullshits that doesn't come out from their heart and the worse thing is i took it fucking real seriously! Ain't i dumb enough? First, second and third. They are all the same. I can't figure out sometimes why all these things happened to me u understand! Guys like to take gurls as their toys in relationship and girls took guys as their treasure!! T-R-E-A-S-U-R-E. Don't wanna think much. If one day we are still separated again. I won't hold back. I will accept that we are not meant to be.

Fuck. I'm fucking damn irritated by my dad!
Damn fucking irritated by him. He forced me to go Genting! And furthermore, he used a Family Gathering as excuse. So what, i don't have a choice right from the start. Stop treating me like a fucking 4 years old kid when that's compulsory to bring me along! U don't understand k! I don't play along well with those cousins of mine! Fuck, this is going to be the lousiest trip i'm getting! Sorry, and i am really fumed nw. I feel like shouting out like a mad woman on the street pulling her own hair but i can't! Don't think that u are the head of this household and what's the fucking big deal! U can order ur children even ur mother around as if they are ur slave? NO WAY ALRIGHT! I'm nt going to be order around by u like nw i can't even protest! Living under this type of roof is really a torture to me. I'm a 17 years old kid. Not S-E-V-E-N. For goodness sake. Not going to say more, pls reflect on urself.

Meow~
Jus came back from sch today, i'm damn shag nw. Having been slping for the lessons after recess becoz i had really no mood to study and to talk. And the Trevor just keep waking me up! He's irritated by me keep slping in his class and i'm irritated by him keep waking me up! Lolx. Erm, let me comment abt something personal. Yes, i sometimes feel that i'm irritating to keep calling him juz nw but that's becoz i nt happy he hang my phone. Wahaha. Din't know i have such power to keep call and call and irritate ppl.. hehex.. U know how am i trained. Because last time, i need to wake my friend up and she's always slping like a log! So i will keep call and call till she wake up. The highest no. of call i gave to her was 50 plus if i'm nt wrong! Going to take a good nap after this, oh nono, is after one more bowl of mee sua. My grandma cooked meesua today. That's my favourite. Because before my great-grandma passed away last year, we get to eat mee sua and mee siam every first day of lunar chinese new year everytime we visited her hse. And we are always the first one to reach! This year, again we had, but the taste is different and we can't see her anymore. I really miss her presence sometimes because she's really so dear to me. Sorry, i can't control my emotions everytime i think deep into that. And it's always late at night and feeling her maybe talking to me when i'm covering with her blanket she gave to me and my sis each of us one each. Really missed her but all i can do is just to visit her grave, talk to her there and touch her there. There's nth else i can do.

Sunday.
Woke up at 11 plus 12. Sorry, although i'm blogging nw but my mind is still in a mess. Din't noe even till nw am i suppose to be going to visit my great-grandma. I'm afraid if i have to put it off my dad would giv me a good scolding and pull my ear off to go! It's not that i din't want to and she's nt impt to me. But i din't know i have to go till ytd and it's a last min thing and no one expt my grandma have hinted me that it's a must to attend! Furthermore, i don't think my grandma make this a compulsory one. So what am i to do nw. I have to go farmart ltr as promised. And tonight there's a campus superstar final! Yes, I wan and yearns to watch it! I feel so unease about the dream i had last night. Although it's not a nightmare but it huants me till nw. I'm weird. I feel that whenever i had something to say, i feel like blogging. Because i don't like telling "grandma" stories" to my listener if i have one, becoz i'm afraid i am going to bore them to slp! Wahaha. That's so embarrassing. That's why i have the urge to keep things to myself everytime. If not, sometimes when i'm really helpless, i confide to my two baby hamster. I'm not sure whether they would understand or even give a damn to me but at least i felt better after that. And nw, i have lots and lots of things to say. Something private but how. I feel so uneasy nw. I have the urge to fly to Genting nw. Thinking back last year, went with my sister and friends, that's really enjoyable. But don't quite like going with family members because it's not thrilling enough for me. Hohoho. Yes, i am going to fly ther for sure. That's when my 'O' level is done and i have worked to save enough. Btw, it's only a few hundred bucks! Fast and easy. Friends, please start saving nw too. I hope to get another trip there. And this time pls make sure that we really enjoy more than enough. And lastly nt to forget u my dear, i hope there's a chance to travel with u too!

Gd Saturday ~
Meet cw today, feel sorry for him.. becoz he was being bullied my me.. hohoho.. i don't mean it dear.. i love u too much to even bully u.. and u still told me u think of leaving tonight actually. I almost cried k! sorry that i have to bold it. Lolx.. Took our 3rd neoprint.. hehex.. more to come k.. and Baby, Today is our 7th month! sorry that i have to bold it again becoz this mean much to me.. haha.. Went to causewaypoint timezone, crystal jade for two chicken wings, sushi and yoshinoya! Yummy, but i still had not enough of the chicken wings yet. It's so nice. And then to sunplaza arcade.. saw adeline and an an.. Hmm.. still alrite and playing those arcade games and chatting with her brought me back to our last time. It's fun! But i rather not have it because i think there are more impt things for me nw. I have him around with me nw, my studies, i'm trying to do well this year and happiness that i cant get last time. She was one of my besti but i guess past is past. Once again, i must comment, i have nt been feeling so happy since last week. It's because of himm he's with me and i feel safe and good. Love u baby. =)