LingEr

My dear Friend.

2010-02-28T23:24:00.003+08:00

Din't know my dear friend actually tagged my blog. Din't went in for so damn long. Bout a year plus? Yeap, so how do i tell him that i actually saw his msg now. Feel so lost out of a sudden. Anw, he's always remember by us. He know that. Rmb it was actually just afew days ago when we just hav a party out with him and a few days later we are there gathering again to bid him goodbye. Don't know how to express this pain, but we jus hope the best for him and he hope the best for us here.
Since baby and i got back tgt, we hang out often. Genting trips, supper, birthday and blah blah blah.. He's always the gentleman (although u are the youngest).
Nth to say. jus miss you alot.

Ling.

2008-07-04T15:51:00.003+08:00

The world changes our lifes, and we are now on our separate ways. We don't move on together, we don't share our dreams together and we don't sleep together anymore. I miss you, i really miss you. How do i tell you. Laogong i really miss you. That sentence will no longer be mine. I have started to move on my first month without you.. because you said we were never meant to be. Although i'm starting to have more guys around me, although everything seems fine to me. But i know you are the one who understand me most. Nothing and no one can heal my wound. The wound that u scared on me. .. Shouldn't think bout it anymore..
Anyway, guys who came to my blog, just wish to update you all that i'm still in my current job. Happily down there SERVING CUSTOMERS. Sound scarastic. But i love my collegues and friends that i made over there. I enjoyed my night life.. esp with sheila, my dearest. Our smoking session never ends. There's one person who i really appreciate, he was there for me when i'm at my lowest moment. Although now he told me we have to move on again.. Guys are always like that. My principle will be guys will only be my entertainment. NO BOYFRIEND FOR ME. I don't think there's any guys that is worth a girl's love. That's all. Having dinner with my sisters.

2008-03-09T00:47:00.004+08:00

Actually, just then i realised that it was two months since i update my blog. Anw, we are back from our genting trip just ytd. Really missed there so much. The people there, the games, the times when i need not think about anything of work. SO RELAXING! But we have to be back. And i really missed laogong. He's in singapore. Haa. Anw, we will be having another trip to there during september yup! See Ya

2008-01-31T11:45:00.000+08:00

I'm sad.. for no reason. I have not much to update because i have not so much activities recently except working. But i still miss them alot! They gave me a surprise on Sunday, came to parkway parade and wait for me to finish work. Our Genting trip is coming right! Let us enjoy ourselves this time! Today i'm Off, so at home slacking. Maybe tonight i'm accompanying laogong to buy his new year clothes. Hais, Don't know why recently we keep quarrel.. and he make me feel so sad and hurt sometimes. Sometimes i don't wanna think so much and hope for so much. If not when the answer comes out it will give me more disappointment. But i really hope he can join us for this trip, but too bad he is tied down this time. Let me pray..

2008-01-22T01:20:00.000+08:00

Back to blogging after so long. I was so busy and tired. I love this job, just that the working hours make me tired. And i got a better job offer currently, so gonna try that out. I was just going for the first interview tomorrow so don't hope for it too much. As mentioned in previous post, i was transferred to parkway parade. Yes, i love there. The ppl their love me too i guess! Haa. Anw, i have no issue working there. Another thing, our genting trip is FINALLY NEAR! Going with my sisters and laogong. So, currently hope to save lots of money for this trip to fully enjoy myself! Still in the progress of quiting smoking and my this job don't allow us to smoke because we need to introduce skin care products to customer and testing on their hands at the same time. Thinking of colouring my hair again although my current gold hair is not so bad. Resemble those monkeys. And i want a tattoo! I actually found out that we do change over time without realising it actually. For example, i'm quite satisfied with myself now . Unlike last time , full of vulgarities and those ah lian life style, that sucks. Anw, what's so proud of ah lian, gangster or whatever? Although now i'm still abit wild but at least there's changes. Good nite peeps.

2008-01-09T02:03:00.000+08:00

So tired.. Anyone just lend me a shoulder to rest? Been workng for 4 days non-stop. Finally got to off.. I'm now transferred to Parkway parade.. SO FAR! I still miss tiong baru, although i'm there not long.. I like the people there more.. And more relaxed! Nvm, hope i will be there only one week.. if not jialat. Damm tired. Nth but just working.. serving customer. but i learn alot of skin care knowledge and make up stuffs. Haa. Just met up with my sisters just now.. And i really missed them because i was like no life kept working for the past few days. TMR OFF!!!!! Going to enjoy this night.. That's all..

2008-01-04T01:38:00.000+08:00

Back to blogging again.. Realise that everytime i wanna post a new one i would start with this sentence. That's me right? Anw, here to keep you guys update again. I have start my work in THEFACESHOP on the first day of Jan 2008!. Quite good thou, enjoying myself. First day i din't manage to sell any skincare product, cause i'm so blur about the product there.. But at least i still manage to sell some masks sheet. But no comission !! Except for that double pay. But ytd i work OT.. wonder how they calcuate the OT rates. Today i manage to sell quite a few skin care product. How my comission will be calculated? TMR IS MY OFF DAY. Finally i'm resting. Good nite!

2007-12-27T15:51:00.000+08:00

Just feel like typing something.. so came to blogger. Haa. I'm now in NYP. Snatching a computer that is supposed to be my sis. LOL. Anyway she is sleep now so no much difference yeap. Feeling moody.. But tonight meeting dear and my sisters for dinner at tiong bahru. Just finish my Communication management exams this morning.. I managed it quite well. I'm not trying to be proud, but i think hard work pays. Haa. Acutally i should have been satisfied. With my current lifestyle and people around me. Why should i go and think so much. Dear is treating me so good, my sisters with me whenever i need them and i will be there for them whenever they need me. I'm serious. That's enough. I'm graduating in just " one paper's time " ! Means, having my last exams on the saturday and i'm done with my diploma course in MDIS. I've found a job in the FACEshop. Gone through two interviews and thanks god is so successful this time. Tomorrow i'm going down to sign appointment letter. Although i'm not quite happy with the pay, and i'm still trying hard to find other full-time jobs with better pay. Haa. Spend my christmas eve with sisters and laogong at vivo city. Will upload some of the pics for u all to see. Miss all my sisters so much. Miss laogong so much. Spend my christmas working at cwp timezone. I enjoyed that day so much.. doing event! But sad that i'm leaving there.. Miss my friends there..

2007-12-25T01:36:00.001+08:00

Merry X'mas! Getting on self-high. Oh no. Went to vivo city with my dear(s) & Laogong. Ehh, today i make someone angry again.. LOL. Enjoyed myself at there, visited my friend at courts at night at vivo also. Sat at the coffeebean, crapping and eating. High-class ladies, we are those !! Anyway, i went throught two interview arranged by the faceshop. Successful. But pay for full-time is damm low. Try there out for a few months, and i'm going to continue looking for other jobs. Hais, after celebrating x'mas i have to start studying for exams again. Last two exams before i graduate from my diploma. Getting on my healthy lifestyle for so long, when is the last time i smoked a cigarette? One month ago? I'm just happy i' m able to quit it. Thanks to my sisters too. Maybe going zouk next wednesday.. Zouk's ladies nite. Dance dance dance, drink drink drink? Get drunk, oh no! Must not do so. Been asking myself, what is the thing i wanna try out for the year 2008. 2008 is near.. Tattoo? Or others? Still considering. But i would wish for a big change in my life. Don't wanna have the same routine everyday every year. But still, i would want all my love ones to stay beside me always. God, keep this forever with me. For this x'mas, i pray to God, that we have peace and harmony, that we are blessed by God every moments.

2007-12-19T21:33:00.000+08:00

Hello peeps, i'm back to blogging.. Going to write an account of what i have done today. Done my accounting exams today. Quite ok lah.. Then whole afternoon slacking at home.. Eat,slp,eat. Chatting with my sisters at layhoon blog. Wahaha. Was fun, spent one or two hour crapping non-stop. Had my dinner at sunplaza with my grandma and sister and grandma's friend. CHICKEN RICE. The rice so fillings. Haa. But anyway, even if i slack whole day.. i enjoyed myself. Miss Laogong.. wahah!

2007-12-18T21:34:00.000+08:00

Back to blogging again.. Having exams period now. Just finish my F&B exam. Tmr having accounting and finance. Haa. Am i well prepared? ... No words to comment. Anyway, today i make Laogong beri angry eh.. So sorry my dearest.. i will change ok ! Bleahs. See my sincerity dear? I apologise in my blog.. Love u. Short post again. :/

2007-12-15T12:51:00.000+08:00

Selfishness is part of a nature of humans. Isn't it? Even how close this person is to you, even how much he/she says love you. How can that be compare with family bonds? From this lesson i have learnt about outside world's reality. Only my family members ain't selfish towards me. They care about my affairs, whether i have eaten and how am i feeling? Did others care? Even he claims to have take care of you, in the reality, did he ? This is one thing. Another cruel fact, TRUST. Now i know who to trust and who not to trust. I chose to trust your words even after so many incidents. Over and over again, did you fulfill what you said? Only my family members and close sisters can be trusted. Other than that, even the one sleeping beside you always, the one who hugged you, kissed you on your cheeks, can't be trusted. Sad to say this. But i gave up thinking. From what you did tells me alot, how much i can trust you. It's ok. I take this as a lesson learnt, acceptation to the cruel reality. Haven taken my lunch yet.. Hmm. Think i will just have a simple lunch, Cook maggi mee. Hee

2007-12-14T00:57:00.000+08:00

Finally had my blog done up. All these credits goes to my dearest sister liyun. Don't wanna call her mushroom le, cause she really did a great job in helping me settling the codes. Thanks so much dear. Finally going clubbing again next fri. DXO perhaps. With my sistas and of course other friends. I wanna drink, but avoid getting drunk. Maybe my sis will be joining us too! First time ! Some are nt meant to be in your life and you are not meant to be in their life. Friends shouldn't be treated like this. Hope to get a new start for myself. Love laogong and sistas for their companion everytime! Hope this stay foreva. It's late. I'm uttering rubbish. I better catch some sleep before i break down. Good nite everyone.

2007-12-10T11:48:00.000+08:00

Back to this place again. Where i let out my emotions. Feeling tired. Don't know why i just feel like going clubbing. Miss the feeling of getting drunk again. But the last two times i went i din't get drunk. So don't worry people. Wahaha. Perhaps nowadays my life is too stress up. And Sometimes i feel moody out of a sudden. Mood swings? ANYONE WANNA GO CLUBBING WITH ME? I wanna disturb my sisters again, ask them along with me. Haa. Short post. Now i'm going to eat my two packets of maggi mee. Tkcare guys

2007-12-05T01:15:00.000+08:00

Happy to my ANG sistas once again, love them yup. Don't feel like going into bed although tmr i'm having early lessons. Been feeling moody tonight, don't know why. Yesterday i accompany Laogong to repair his lcd screen and we went shopping for a while in imm. Went to eat long john with him. Hee. Laogong, i hope that you will treat me so good everyday. So good so sweet. The feeling is like don't wish to part with you even we have to head for different directions in the evening. Laogong, jus wanna let you know that i'm really missing you now. I know now you are asleep, but just feel like talking to u. U know what, everyday we have no time to really chat bout what exactly each of us is doing everyday. Because when you working you can only sms or call me during ur lunch time and jus tell me that you ate ur lunch le. Then after you finish work, you just called me say you finish work le. And then at night you just call me say u going orh orh le. We have not much time to chat bout what exactly we have to say to each other. Sad sad. Feel like hugging my DAZHU. Haa. No matter what happens, i hope we would stay happy forever. Love me forever, will you?

2007-12-02T00:16:00.000+08:00

Just came back from work, tired but feel like blogging. Even if i ask u to read my blog, i dunno whether u will want to come in and read. Anw, i jus wanna post what i feel like saying out. I really feel more and more tired in this relationship. Sometimes i may want to give up, but i just can't bear to. I really wish to salvage this relationship and make it like last time. Although last time almost everyday we quarrel, but i really don't mind. I don't mind crying every night but at least i know u care. Ever since you work at bird park, u have lesser time for me. But i didn't grumble. I know u need to work. But what i wanna say is that u have changed. Take it for example, last time you won't say that you need to have ur own life all these. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have your own life. You should have, but even till the extend that you need to calculate every single thing that what i shouldn't control and what i should ? At least last time if you know i'm sad you would not continue to do it. At least last time you have the least care for me. Last time you said as long as i talked to you nicely about the problems we two can try to work things out. Now even if i try to talk nicely to you about wat i dislike, you just replied, this is my life. I'm really very tired. Sometimes i really don't feel like carrying on, with the thinking that you said future is far for us. That's why i never go think le, i never ask for your ring le, most imptly, i never call you Laogong le. Everytime we quarrel i just want to resolve it because i really don't want any regrets le. That night at khatib MRT i cried so loud, not because u need me to be independant to buy food on my own. Is how i feel ur attitude towards me have changed. In my heart i feel that i'm no longer your precious baby. Just another Girlfriend u have. I don't know how to make myself special for you. I miss the guy that i love last time. When he was still in army and i would wait for him finish his army outside gate. I miss the guy when he was in tekong for the first three months. I didn't change, did you? Are you still the one i'm yearning for ? Or you wish to have a new start for yourself? I don't feel anything now. Just need your truthful answer. (:
: I dunno how to change lyrics but thats what from my heart:
我想你不是真的爱我
习惯被忽略不算自由
相爱的人总是不懂
为什么真心伤得特别重
我想你不是真的爱我
当体贴渐渐受到冷落
其实爱有很多选择
我也可以给你自由

2007-11-28T01:27:00.000+08:00

Back to blogging again. Hurh. Been busy with lots of projects recently because i'm going doing last min thing. Today damn suay, Early morning come my monthly period and cause my stomach to be so cramp and i have to work after my sch. And after work i still need to finish my project that shuld be handed in tmr. Now i have completed my third project and im blogging to celebrate. Hmms, miss my laogong. Just now he came to fetch me after my work at compasspoint. haa. Although we had some arguements just now but laogong's temper today quite good. He didn't flare his temper but he talk to me with reasons. Good good. Continue wit that k laogong. And i'm now urgently looking for a part time job with high pay because i want alot money! I'm tired of having little money ! Anyone got lobang call me kk . Have not been thinking of clubbing recently because we had other activities!! wahaha Enjoy the last sat activities wher we enjoyed the whole day! And Laogong was their with us. Thanks laogong for accompanying baby. Thats all. Gd nite

2007-11-11T01:31:00.000+08:00

Heh. Start my blogging mood in the early am. And tmr still gonna work almost full shift. This week schecule so packed. Monday didn't hav any activities. But frm tues onwards is so packed! Tues went to town to try out some clothes and hav dinner after my class. Wed, morning went for interview at sin ming rd after dat went for lunch wit lapuo lynn and her sis and one fool foot the bill for us! Wahaha. It was quite irritating though and i immediately complained to laogong. After that, at nite met my sistas at ah mei to hav supper. Heh. Thurs we went for bugis after work to shop for some clothes and eat. Our activities are mostly bout eating. And on fri, we had a whole day outing, frm morning we met at ard 9 and proceed to nyp to have our breakfast wit cheng and manual. After dat, valen, mushroom and me slack at cheng's lab while she went for a talk. After that, we went for k-lunch as planned. It's already two meals for the day. On the way towards amk hub, we bought some snacks to eat, thats already three meal. When we reached amk hub, some of them bought anderson's ice cream and thats already the fourth one. After that we went to shop for bag and turn to our left to have our ear pierce again! Cheng and me already hav 8 jus on our ear and still nt enough. lol. I have 9 plus my nose piercing. Think of piercing my eyebow the next time. Wahaha. After that we went to crystal jade to hav some chicken wings and that's already our FIFTH meal for the day. It's like we are always eating non-stop! After we went to marina sq. Took a walk for ard one hour plus and we are back to eating again! Ate subway and sat ther for ard half an hour. And the last last unbelievable thing was after eating subway, we went to the cafe jus BESIDE subway for some dian xin! So damn big eaters group! So altogether we had seven meals for the day! Freak!

2007-11-07T00:14:00.000+08:00

Oh guys, i'm back to blogging again. Lots of things happened lately so loss of what i'm going to write. Went to MOS on the ladies nite, and that bed is so so comfortable. That night was for ladies one for one drink for alcohol and wines, so we ordered vodka lime each. Thank god that i din't get drunk. LOLs. I love that atmosphere but hate the song! I LOVE TECHNO! Haa. Going to DXO another day perhaps. Heard that there's big discount for bottle of Vodka. My diploma course is ending soon. Really need to buck up. Altogether now i got 8 piercing on my face. Hmm, thought of adding one more piercing..*evil thoughts. Haa. I wan new clothes and bag! Haa. I have stop the job at carlton hotel, tmr i'm going to sin ming rd to interview for best denki. Haa. I mis timezone, don't feel like quitting but the pay is really too little for my expenses. Oh ya. i have thought of what to put for my body tattoo. U guys shall be surprise when u all see it. Anw, don't look at my outer layer and judge my character. I DON'T LIKE TO BE CALLED CHAO AH LIAN! Becoz i'm just not that kind. I'm quitting dat smoking habit which i took up afew years ago, and i din't speak wit lots of vulgar. Only sometimes swearing and cursing when i'm losing temper. Those typical ah lian is so irritating. Wahaha. What's so nice bout being called ah lian? Haa. Anw, mis laogong. And stupid boy don't keep throw unreasonable temper on me.

2007-10-10T22:43:00.000+08:00

Guys, i'm back to blogging again. Time passes so fast and it have been nearly two months since i last blogged. Partly is becos of my internet is down. That stupid SINGNET, coz us so many problems. My school starts again after two weeks of break. Haa. So what did i do for the last two weeks of my holiday? I went to NYP almost twice a week to accompany my dear sista, calin becos she is having her fyp now and she always complained that she is boring. Anw, on the 21st sept, we went to zouk wit another two guys. We really enjoyed ourselves clubbing. DANCING!! We drank, and thank goodness we all didn't get drunk. Hoho. Actually supposed to go on the oct 5 with our daddy and some of our ex-colleagues from yacht club. Hais, realy missed them i mus say. ESP daddy. :(
Lots of things i hav encountered. Laogong and my birthday hav passed.. We didn't celebrate it too nice its becoz our "hands are tights". But as long as our heart is tgt, we are happy as one. And on my birthday, my timezone colleagues gav me a small birthday party and i really love them so much!!
And on the sun oct 7, our dearest full time csa, mr halis, hav been transferred to timezone cwp. New evironment but we are really sad to see him leave !! They gave him a surprise farewell gathering but i'm absent for that becos i'm working. Anw, i'm nw taking two part-time job. First one in timezone and the other one is carlton hotel. Is is bestie lynn who brought me there. It was nice working thre and on the 19, i will be bringing my sista lh there too.
One more thing, today, amk police hq called me and asked me down for a statement. Becoz on the july i found one moblie phone while i am working and i sold it. Nw, i am charged. Hais.. so sad. I'm trying very hard to quit smoking and some bad habit. Partly is becos my parents advised me to quit it for my own health and also the financial wise, i have to do so. But it's really hard, becoz since 5 years ago i started smoking. hais.. When i din't smoke i can sleep the whole day. That's what my dad did observe too. Mum and Dad, i really trying hard so giv me more time ok? I may nt be able to quit once and for all but in the near future i will quit away this habit.

2007-08-20T16:41:00.000+08:00

What to update, nth much to say. Recently, rushing thru my project & thinking bout nth else anymore. Don't say anything much jus that our last call really ended bad. But it's ok, since u say nt to contact u anymre, i won't. I delted ur contacts all these, hopefully i can get over all these. Infront of my sistax , friends , i pretended like nth matters for this one week plus. But seriously i really think alot. But nw u too, hav make clear to be all those things, and i think its time to stop tinking about all these and really start a new life of my own nw. Hope that u too, hav a new life of ur own too. Our past will jus b like our memories, if all these swept away one day, our photos will b the best evidence. Hmm, ltr i'm going down to compasspoint wit ah hoon. She guiding me for my ITT project. YTd went to cheng hse to rush thru my project. Wahaha. Recently got too much problem, but i'm still remaining cheerful. Because i am who i am! Haa. Oh yea, last fri went to chalet wit my team! It's fun because there's lots of food but i fell asleep too early! Damn it. Haven't had enough of my food!!

2007-08-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

Things really changed alot, really alot. And lots of tings i need to really think it over.. But, deep from the bottom of my heart, i sincerely apologised to u. I let u down tis time. For the past few weeks u hav been treating me really well & perfect. It's nt ur fault. And ytd, my precious baby passed away. Din't hav the chance to go down and bury him, my dad did it. But all those sweet memories all in my mind. I always mention tis , really glad that my sistax are wit me all the times. They support me , cheer me up and encourage me as well. I feel really so blessed. Wit them, my life really changed alot. Once again , i would like to express my gratitude towards my close sistax here!

2007-08-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

Whaha, i'm here to blog again. Guess i got nth betta to do so wanna talk bout my life nwadays. I may feel tired bt i'm enjoying every moment in my life. My school projects are going to be due in two weeks time but i hvn start any research yet. Feel like i'm wasting my mum's money. Seriously, i really dun know wat i wan nw. Don't know wat is my goal in life, dunno wat i wanna b 5 years down the road too. But one ting i mus mention , that is really thanks my sistax for always be there for me. Although i'm the youngest among dem, but we still clic well. Sometimes they would treat me like their small sis to giv advise n so much. So i really love dem. Anw, jus got to know new friends from cwp timezone, mag, she's a nice chap. Easy to get along too. Haa. Bt really i'm really really so young & indecisive. So here i am , to apologise to anyone who i may hav hurt them. I don wan to elaborate anything here becoz its too personal. But although i'm young, my tinking is mature. Wahaha. And Daddy, i mis u neh .. although i din't call u often but we know dat u are always there for ur daughters. And ur daughters will always be there for u. Sweet to hear that huh ? Anw, love all my friends, sistas or whoeva care bout me. Haa. So mushy.

2007-07-30T20:16:00.000+08:00

I'm here again to blog , haa. Coz that mushroom say i haven been blogging .. wahaha. Anyway, nwadays busy wit work n school stuffs , n please , can someone remind me that im really slacking in sch nwadays n i muz really buck up if nt im going to fail my module le lo !! Anyway, oso got lots of assigment nt completed . So later tonite going to surf my web n look for information.. My boy went out wit his friends , 5 days we dint meet each other but lets hope dat our relationship stay strong k ?

2007-07-27T16:15:00.000+08:00

First time in school blogging becoz tis is oso my first lesson. Tis lesson is quite enjoying becoz i spend half of my time surfing the net. Wahaha. Damn excited, later meeting daddy & the rest. wahaha. And recently got some *problems dat really make me confused and really at a loss nw .. Omg.. Bt anyway, jus let time decide the fate. Haa. Anw, ppl pls don tink that i'm olways surfing the net & doing nth k! And oso don wish to talk much here in case there's ppl peeping when i'm typing.. Hate those peeps la . Morons. End here !!

2007-07-24T13:39:00.000+08:00

Finally hav time to update my blog le .. Really hate my internet coz its damn laggy & irritating lo.. Keep kena disconnected ! So wats the fuking use of using wireless modem ??!! Oh ya, wat to update .. recently jus pierce my nose .. n nw altogether , i hav 7 piercing on my face .. wahaha.. Wish that i can hav one or two more ? But someone don't like lo .. say i like ah lian want to attract attention .. wahahah. But seriously , like my hair colour man. Damn nice .. wahahah. But my freaking black hair start to grow liao.. nt so nice liao.. And looking forward to tis friday dinner wit daddy and our ex collegues.. big gathering man ! But dat someone forbid me to drink on that day .. Wat a loss !! Com on , muz drink to enjoy ma ! Den get drunk again lo .. wahaha.. Anyway , nw i'm still wit that someone lo .. who everyday slp until late late den wake up le play game eat at nite play till midnite den slp again .. same routine everyday !! U ar, faster go find work la ! End here .

2007-07-16T22:12:00.000+08:00

Wah! Damn long din't update my blog le. Finally i got all these done up ! wahaha. Anyway, nw studying in a private sch becoz i did damn fuking bad for my "O's , predicted dat long ago. Anw, i'm still wit my boy and i got lots of sista to care for me. Happy & contented . (:

2006-12-26T21:37:00.000+08:00

My FAITH . Hais , warT can i believe in ? Hw can i ask my heart hw much i love u , so that i can know hw much i can trust u ? Tell me hw to be ur good gf . I know , both of us had lost the faith of thinking that our love can last . Seriously , i really lost it . Becoz we hav been mentioning this word " LEAVE " . (: I'm so sorry , i can't make our love last . And i know i won't be by ur side foreva . I know all those shouting and quarrels had made our relationship bad and there's no turn back . Ya , there's no foreva , but at least i hope that we can b happy together to save us from regrets next time. So din't know from when , i stopped shouting at u , to save myself frm regretting . (: " A LOVE THAT CONTINUES BUT NT LASTING "

2006-12-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

Sry Baby darling , i know u r good to me , u r trying to giv me everything of urs and u are tolerating me so much . You r so good in my eyes and i nv want to notice . I'm so sry . Indeed , when u tell me that what i did make u sad , it also saddens me . Becoz i failed as ur gf . But Laogong , thx fer tolerating me these few daes . I promise i will b betta okays ?
Another ting , I was caught smokin last week by HSA and the letta came . Haa , my parents knew bout it . Sry again , i oso failed as ur daughter . ):

2006-12-15T16:39:00.000+08:00

Yea , lots to sae again . I was caught smoking in cwp 2 daes ago n nw they are sending letter to my hse . -.-" I'm jus so suay ! God damn it ! So , i'm feeling beri stress , stressing on hw to get the key of the letter box so to duplicate another one SO THAT i will b able to open the letterbox everydae be4 my dad . My plan is todae and i'm so worrie nw . Nw waiting for my darling to online . (:

2006-12-06T15:45:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i do wonder , mayb i need some brainwashing ? Or mayb it is some others who need it ? I was looking thru my post be4 deciding to post one today . For the recent few post i read , i felt warmth in my heart. I feel like turning back , turning the time back to the moment when i'm writing . Becoz , i no longer hav the warmth anymore. I am feeling cold , tired and warteva so . I feel so difficult to b a gd gf of u . I hav been thinking , is ur expectations too high for me or am i the one who fail to comply to u . Am i supposed to be complying to u nw or warteva i need to do to make u happy. Ur words that pricked my hearT or rather u wanna say that u juz wanna remind me, i'm jus ur gf , hav no right to control ur life ? Yea, i forget that i'm jus ur gf. I shouldn't be disturbing u every secs , most imptly i shouldn't b naming u my LAOGONG anymre. Den warT should i name u ? WarT can i do to make both of us happy again ? WarT can i do to make u say " i love u " so sweet again ? I'm saying all these nt to ask for anyone sympathy , but becoz all along , i didn't find a good soul mate to confide in. When i wanna confide in u at times , u jus turn ur back away . Den who else can i confide in ? God , such a long time u din't hear me , but i know u r still waiting to hear from me. God , can u tell me that all i did is wrong ? Can u show me a way out for the both of us ? And i chose to end tis post like dis . Becoz is the same feeling i hav nw . For the moment , i wanna stop caring n loving . I wanna b myself i wished , i wanna smile everyday and enjoy my shortest life to the fullest , wit ppl ard me . =) Ah wee, i shall name u tis . Hope u don mind.

2006-11-23T16:38:00.000+08:00

Lots of quarrels between us tis few daes , since mon i guess ? But gadly is over . (: This sat we will be going fishing wit his friends & night time will b going to marina for steamboat . Tis is a whole day outing ! LaoGong , tis is the last time ok ? Don't don't break my little heart too kk ? =) Short post todae :D

2006-11-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

i hav lots to mention , to sae -.-"
Tmr will be takin my last paper of 'O' ! Bt seriously , since fri , i'm already 'jumping' . Ok, will b starting work on tues n its really damn boring i admit ? N will b mising my DARLING BABY coz i will nt b meeting him so often ?! Bt nt to worrie coz i noe dat his heart is wit me. (: I mus comment, my darling is a changed person . And Hubby , there's someting u need to know & u will know if one dae u visit my blog again . :D That is , nt to worrie dat i will repeat da same mistake like dat time , tis time i swear sweAR & SWEAR i won't b hurting ur little heart . My heart is only fer u & ur heart is only fer me ! I wil b ur good gal i promise n u will b my good boy . This will nt b our past tense ok ?

" I'll b urs as long as the world is still alive & da sun still shine "
I'll love u 4eva, myPRETTYBOY .

2006-11-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

Soo long since i blog again.. Suppose to hav lots of words? Heex.. OK, exams are near.. studying abit but really pray dat i would do well maybe? Hubby, to me, it's really a blessing to hav u.. I'm nt joking. Mayb without u, my life would nt b so brighten up. I know there will b ups and downs but afterall we r still together nw! I'm abit stress recently coz of my exam.. so tats why i tend to flare up more or pick on ur little things. But i can feel all ur love, and i know u do cherish me.. Laogong, my heart will b wit u 4eva, nv fly away kks ? N my love nv dies too.. Sorrie fer hurting words at times. And i hav to tell u dat, i really didn't regret being wit u, i wanna b wit u nw and4va. Coz i juz need u by my side to teng me. Laogong, i mis u.. N ur childish behaviour. =) Muacks..

2006-10-10T16:28:00.000+08:00

Ok, peeps who hav been following up my blog would b beri excited to read warT i'm gonna post today coz as i hav said in my last post, this post is going to b abt OUR CHALET!.
Starting off wit a word, FUN. But the time flew past like an aeroplane. Too fast. Ok, i'm going to start from the first day, first moment to last day, last moment. First day, right after my sch, Laogong fetched me and went straight to my hse. I packed my things and was so anxious abt it. Blah blah blah. . . I reached the chalet! First feeling when i step in there, it was cosy and nice. Nt like last time, coz it was renovated. Hoho. Ok, we took a stroll to the arcade and played some games there.. till it finally BBQ time! Me and my husband was really starving man! We prepared the things and get on wit that. That BBQ was beri fun, i ate alot. Joshua, RenCong and TianDing came late at night and we played poker cards. Slpt at ard 2 plus? Sat, we woke up at ard 9, have our things prepared and we set off for breakfast and headed towards Escape Theme Park. As usual, the girls, cried becoz of the haunted adventures. Escape hav nth much actually.. In the afternoon, joshua came and we went back to the chalet. I slpt till it's time for BBQ and the rest played poker cards. At night, Our parents came for the BBQ. It was a rather short night to me. Coz, i'm the earliest to be knocked down. I slpt all the way till the next day and so sad Laogong hav to go off earlier coz he had to go to work. We left the chalet at ard 10 plus and everyone's mood was dull. We took alot of pictures and those pictures will prove our happiness. This time, i'm quite glad that tings didn't turn out like in Genting last year. We had really enjoyed ourselves and we hav promised each other that our next destination would b GENTING. Looking forward to that after my Os . Take care peeps. And Laogong, thanks, u brought me happiness. =))

2006-10-05T17:40:00.000+08:00

Tmr we will be going to CHALET !! First time going wit Laogong, and hope it would be fun man! Anyway, hav been more dan 2 weeks since i last blogged. Firstly, wanna talk about my prelims results. Not so good though, only pass one but quite happy abt that becoz i have made improvements. Hope that i can strive hard for my O from nw, nth is ever too late. So work hard nw and i shall hav a chance to enter POLY! To those teachers who look down on me , let's us juz see. NTH IS IMPOSSIBLE. Ok but truely thanks to MDM FARIDAH, u have helped me thru my coursework and make sure that i pass my F&N but sorry to fail u this time in my prelims results. But i will work hard for my Os. Make sure that i pass this subject of urs! And this would make it a miracle as most of the teachers said that the difference in N and O standards is 3 grades down. I failed my F & N in N and it would be truely the first miracle when i pass my O ! And i shall make it true! Hoping for many things in our chalet and after this, i shall work hard and study. Nt to let my mum and dad down especially. And my sistas, LAOGONG. Muacks to them. And lynn lao puo, LET'S STRIVE TO POLY TOGETHER. We shall make it . =)

2006-09-17T14:55:00.000+08:00

I MIS MY LAOGONG!! I mis him so suddenly nw.. becoz for today and tmr i won't b meeting him. Yea peeps, u might me thinking that is jus only two days and blah blah blah .. BUT WE ARE SUPER GLUE! Even when we were out for almost 12 hours in a day, after we parted home i will still mis him!
Laogong, ur lao puo hav lots of things to say to u.. She wanna tell u that she really mis ur hugs and so on. Mis u doting on her. And seriously, sometimes i do feel that i am too unreasonable and didn't treat u gd sometimes. But i didn't mention it to u. All i know is to condemn u for ur mistake so to make u gulity. I ADMIT! I'm nt going to apologise coz i think that's nt effective enough. But i'm going to giv u all my love and care! And Hubby, i will really try nt to embarrass u in public as in shout at u and don't listen to u? Becoz sometimes me too, can't control my temper. And u also don't say that u wan face don wan me le wor.. SOBAD! And one more thing, Laogong, i don't want to discuss or rather tell u when in face to face becoz i'm afraid u will feel that i have other meanings behind it so i chose to write it here and hopefully u will browsed thru this one day. I jus wanna say that I REALLY LOVE U WHOLEHEARTEDLY, meaning that my heart doesn't have any other person. I didn't think of any other and will not for nw and till forever when i'm with u. Sometimes i don't like u to tell me ur past with those friends and so for coz u did remind me of ur past and i really don't like. Coz i'm really trying hard nt to think abt anything of ur past and walk together with u. And one more thing i hav been wanting ur heart to answer. I don't want to ask abt the past but for nw, do u love me wholeheartedly? Have u really gotten out of ur past?

2006-09-08T13:21:00.000+08:00

Was jus browsing thru my own blog and saw the date. And jus realised that it was almost two month since i last blog. Hoho. Nt that i got busy, it juz dat i was lazy. Ok, will start blogging frequently from nw on so that mayb i can get more readers.. Wahahaha! Firstly, i wanna talk abt my kiwi. hoho. Everytime the first issue will be abt him. A never changing fact. And i hav to admit that time passes so fast, that our first anniversary had passed. =)) And Hubby, although we hav been quarrelling be4 and after dat, but i'm happy tt we can spend that day together, and together wit happiness. Wanna tell u dat u will always b my prince, a gentle one . =))) And really, u muz start to think for ur future.. Abt warT u going to do after ur ns. I know u find me naggy thats why i said it in blog, hopefully u will read it urself. Ok thats all. =))

2006-07-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

The times when u held my hands
The times when u whisper to my ears, " I love u"
The times when u hugged me tight

I miss them. Because the one i am looking for is no longer here. He's once my everything. He's once the one who i should have lean onto his shoulder to cry. But nw, he's the one who make my tears drop. Make my heart break into pieces, my thinking to fall. I don't know what i want now, what am i seeking for nw.. For this blog, everything will remain, but mayb i will not b updating here anymore. Keeping here as my memories and creating a new blog.

I rmb, hw i used to feel so helpless n hurt. How i wished to juz leave everything like this. But at the same time, i rmb how he used to be doting on me. That kind of words and feeling. It's so unique. But why our love cant remain?

2006-07-20T22:46:00.000+08:00

My face look so fat and weird in this pic isn't it? Although it isn't so nice, but i love this pic lots. I rmb that day all of us were so happy. In fact, we have only three there. Two of us in the pic and one helped us took this photo. Have been lots of quarrels recently with HuBbY, and really sad.
LaoGong, i know u are trying ur best to make me smile. Try nt to make me angry. I know that. But still nt enough k.. I don't know if i'm the one asking too much or u are the one giving too little. But anyway, i still love u so much. Everytime i said that i don't love u as much it's all lie. In fact, i love u more. Our 11th month is just 10 days away. Hubby, we are reaching one year soon. We must let our relationship to be more stable. Let all the others be envious of us and not we are the one to be envious of others. We will be the most sweet and fortunate couples ya? That's warT we used to say in the past but seriously, i have the confidence to get back that sentence. My love for u will be never ending, just like ur love to me is forever. Let's not get anything to be in our way and strive to look at our future with bright and love. Love u lots Hubby.

2006-07-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

Have been sick for the past few days, and i decided to blog today is becoz i suddenly have the thoughts of writing and typing. There's one thing i muz really comment. Is that things and people really changes fast. We can be laughing and joking juz two days before. But today, we are behaving like strangers. We are not considered friends, juz classmates. Do your see the difference? I used to confide in her, but nw i am bearing grudges against her. I bet she did the same too. Just becoz of that day, i rmb, how she left me alone and i turned and look at her with her friend. That facial expression on her, brought me back to that afew months when we got along well. Enough of talking about her.
HuBbY, please give me confidence, that faith and love that i have in u for the first three months. I believe u can do it. Don't try to break my heart everytime, becoz for all i noe, my heart is weak and i fear one day it cannot breathe again, when everytime u try to make it stop. I love u and i need u more than anyone else. I need that love and care from u. Not that cruel side of u, when everytime i heard u scold me, insult me and hurt me when i tried to make everything good for u. I thought of everything nicely for u. But everytime, u only said that i'm too demanding. It really hurts. Everytime i can feel my heart being slashed by u hardly. As i have said, don ever think of wiping my tears when u are the one who makes me cry. Don't ever think of mending my heart when u break it intentionly everytime. Because it really hurts more. I didn't chose to giv up everytime is becoz whenevery i'm sad and hurt, i thought of ur gentle. The times when u dote on me when i'm sick. Fetch me water and giv in to all i wan. It's really nice. That moment i wished, it would stay forever. I liked the times u scolded me when i'm too naughty, but not the times when u scolded me when u are feeling moody. Trust me, all girls at my age only wants a stable relationship and a doting bf. But not everytime like we are nw, keep having break-up and patch. It's tiring to u and me. It's not my fault when everytime i mention a break-up. It really hurts too. Because everytime i try to think of the days without u, i felt lonely in my heart, as if my life is going to have a big change. But i still did that becoz i don wish u to hurt me more. Sometimes i know, i'm unreasonable. But is becoz i have my own thinking. I know u have too. But HuBbY, we muz perservere, don't be so bad-tempered. Rmb, our aim is to see our future together. We muz nt giv up. We will be together forever.

2006-06-28T22:11:00.000+08:00

Feeling really shag for the past few days becoz i had not had enough slp. I think since the start of June i didnt update my blog. So nw, i seems to have lost the touch of writing and expressing myself, even though i had lots of things to say. Firstly, wanna say that i'm still happy with him... but sometimes i muz admit that relationships do have ups and down, and we muz really learn to overcome it. But Hubby, that few days u really make me suffer.. Becoz even u are always near me, i jus can't feel ur pressence. I have thought of giving up when u said that guy had lost. But luckily it's over, thank God. And again today, i feel u again. That familiar hugs and words. =) And this saturday will be our 10th month, and we are like so long didn't really meet up for more than 3 hours. Becoz u are busy with army and i'm also busy with school and my work. Oh ya peeps, i have been working for the past two weeks. In timezone cwp, quite fun there becoz all ppl there are friendly. But when u met those irritating customers, it's really troublesome. But i will be quite used to there soon. But everytime i hang out with those working peeps after work to have our late supper, i juz cant resist thinking back to my old friends in galley. Becoz i felt more happy and relaxed hanging out with them. They are more lively. Really missed that period of time. And not to forget my Daddy and Amy, haven met up with them for a very long time.. More than half a year i guess? And miss calling my daddy; Daddy. Haix.. Just can say time past, things changed. But one thing remains, that's with my hubby. haha. And Daddy, where's ur chalet and sentosa trip?!! And let's hope one day we can go midnight party world again. It's really enjoyable. =) Hubby, no more breaking of my heart again. And let's see our future together. =) muacks.

2006-05-29T23:07:00.000+08:00

Past.
WE used to have laughter everyday.
WE used to understand each other heart.
WE used to be the most envious couple.
WE used to be so sweet.

Now.
WE are always quarreling.
WE don understand each other anymore.
WE are the one envying other couples.
WE are nw so cold.

Why will things become like this? My bf has always been the one i wished to lean on everytime i need. But nw, i'm afraid. I'm afraid to lean on him. I'm afraid to tell him my problems. I'm afraid to be myself infront of him. I'm just like another girl nw who wished my bf would care and understand me. But warTever i do or say, leads to quarrel. Why like that? I don't wish for a perfect love. But maybe a love that can bring me happiness. Did i ask for too much? I really don't understand.

2006-05-22T21:24:00.000+08:00

Afew days to school holiday again. But i will be taking my MT O level. Although i love MT and my MT is nt that bad afterall, i felt pressurized. This will be the first O level paper i'm taking. And my aim gonna be an A. hoho. Really gonna start studying hard for my exams becoz i can't afford to fail. It's wasting my money if i really fail. Help me pls. Finally tmr going to rebond my hair. Really can't stand my hair that way. So fucking messy. Nth to do nw. Damn bored. =)

2006-05-18T19:41:00.000+08:00

Things really messed up my life recently. Have nt been updating my blog becoz i'm plain lazy. Got back some of my results and all i can say is that.. too bad. hoho. Nono. Going to work harder cause i have been slagging in TERM 2. And ytd, i cut my hair. At first, it looked quite nice. But after i washed it. It's nt as straight and i hate it! Hope i can get my hair rebond asap. REally cant stand abit of wavy hair even. So.. Have to ask my sis for her opinion. Hehe. waRT should i do nw. Damn boring.. Ohyaya, i ate durians today! It's expensive one kk! One box cost 35 bucks but it really tasted so niceee. Kk.. Gonna stop here for nw. Take care peeps.

2006-05-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

Maybe if i really have the courage, i would have jumped down. Problems always come to me so easily and it make me so fucking stress and uneasy. Can i demand all those friendships, love, family ties all gone? No one is really helping me. I am like being left in this pathetic world alone when really no one really makes a difference to me. Shalehin, let me have that courage of urs at that point of time. Ur name is still nt weird to me although i have nt been hearing for about one year plus. U are still so loved and missed by all of us. Hope u are in peace nw.

2006-05-10T22:09:00.000+08:00

Wednesday~ waRT to post. Really missed him.. alot.. hoho.. But one more day and it's gonna be fine. Having exams for the past few days so haven been updating my blog for a long time.. hehe.. but that's an excuse anyway. i'm still online as usual. But juz lazy to come in. Gonna check out the new blog skin again. My blogskin is old, isn't it. Quite plain too.. Still thinking bout wher to go on Friday.. Feel like going escape but maybe we gonna wait.. So damn boring nw. Nth to do. Called that pig but he was slpinggg.. Argh.. Hubby ar, u always slp slp slp.. I noe u tired la.. But i v sianx too.. Lucky it's only 3 days, If it gonna be one week or more i think i will cry! hoho.. See u tmr my dearest hubby.. muacks muacks

2006-05-04T21:08:00.000+08:00

Maybe i really failed. I shouldn't have been too reliable on u. And nw, i feel that i can't live alone. I'm so afraid of loneliness and coldness. We should have keep a distance. I should have known this won't last forever. I have tried to keep u just nw, hoping that u will stay longer. But u insisted on going. U complained that my hse was too boring for u. I've got nth else to say. Let's just pray to God that we will stay on and don't part. I would just pray, because i don't hope for anymore. Neither do i believe and trust.

2006-05-02T17:57:00.000+08:00

Really damn fucking shag and tired today. Maybe it's becoz i set off too early ytd and i slept late at night and at last wake up early in the morning today. LOLx. I spent my whole afternoon slping after i came back from school. And nw, i have woke up. Lucky there's nt much hmework today. Quite stress recently as my mid year exams are approaching, in that two days time. If i don't do well this time, my parents are going to give me a good earing. hoho. Missed escape so much.. I wanna go there again. =(

2006-05-01T23:43:00.000+08:00

Supposed to go escape today. Erm, we did go there and in fact we already reached the doorstep. And it was open but ONLI FOR PRIVATE FUNCTION. Gosh. We wake up as early as 7 plus in the morning and went for breakfast and took that one hour plus train towards pasir ris. It's a complete waste of time! But enjoyed myself today with food. hoho. I think i'm getting fatter nwadays. Really going on diet. So fat so ugly. I enjoyed and relaxed for three full dayz and nw i have tons of undone hmework. Going to burn midnight oil today. =(

2006-04-28T22:53:00.000+08:00

yes, it's finally FRIDAY again.. have been really busy this week.. Busy with my F&N coursework and those uncompleted maths and english hmework.. And so, really gonna take a good break this weekend and den may 1st out on a outing again. This time will be escape theme park.. haha.. Really gonna enjoy myself this time becoz the last few times i went there didn't really play while except the first time when i was pri 6, i went there with my friends and we play like those mad woman.. Going to try the haunted hse, becoz that last year i went, i stood in the queue for juz that pathetic 5 mins and i backed off. The reason was i heard some infants wailed loudly while they were on their trip and in the end being carried out by their parents with their face melted with tears. I backed off after that and headed on to other games. I rmb we onli played two games that day cause of my working time and so... missed all the good games man.. ok.. looking forward to that day. its juz two days away..

2006-04-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

hoho. Today accompanied that *smelly pig to Ajunjid to collect a rabbit that someone gave up for adoption. So we took train from SMB mrt all the way to there. So i was standing beside him ya? And while in the train suddenly i smelled farts. It's really an unbearable smell. But i dare nt say it out it's becoz i tot it was others who did that. And i told him i smelled something wrong and he admitted that it was him! Omg.. Stupid pig, can u be more considerate next time? We are in the train and at that point of time the train was squeezed with lots of ppl! Haha.. And nw, i purposely put this post up to embarrass u! It's really a short post today. Nth much to update. Keep on waiting~

2006-04-23T22:15:00.000+08:00

Just when i thought that i'm xinfu and when i'm at the highest point of love, somethings brought me down. I really don't knw what to do nw. I'm really confused. My mind is thinking mad. I thought i could already see my future, but it all disappear within that one second. I don't see any images, him and things nw. i used to have beautiful dreams. Sometimes i think why am i making things big, spoiling moods. Please blame it on my love to u is too deep. I can't stand every little obstacles becoz i wan it to be perfect. But i don't think we can reach there. Sorry that i made it so frank. But i have to. Are u really going to giv things up if we r really separated? Why make it liek this? I perserved everytime u know that. But everytime u seems like it's nothing to u, whereas me making the calls and do all those stupid things. I don't except u to return me anything. Becauz i knew love ever gives it never claims. But neither do i expect u time and again to giv me hurting words. I don't wan to say that i'm perfect becoz i'm really not. But at least i do apologise with sincere. Ur apology to me was no cure becoz i knew u didn't take it seriously. U juz wan me to stop everything that's why u said that. Is that all ur love to me? Is that all? If that's the case i really got nth to say ba. =)

2006-04-22T22:34:00.000+08:00

I'm so fucking sick today. My body is burning like hell and i'm really feeling terrible. Lucky there's him, my husband, with me today. If not i will be suffering alone. He's my everything i swear. There to sayang me and teng me. It felt so good. LaoGong, i promised not to leave u again. Because i don't want myself to be suffering. Hoho. My next lookout will be on 1 may when i am going escape with u. My throat really felt better nw. Thanks for ur honey drink too. So sweet. U did many things for me, but i din't noe hw to show that i really appreciate that. I believer we are the most xinfu couple and i'm the most xinfu girlfriend. Gees.. And i know u care abt me and my health. That's why u get pekchek today. I'm sick today so that's why my mood nt so good. Sorry* see i so weida, apologise in my blog. hoho. My apology is sincere. Ok, waiting for u to come online. =)

2006-04-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

If i can have a second chance
Certain things i have chose to let go right from that day. I don't want to vex myself with this. I noe my love cant b perfect over how hard i've tried. I will nt leave. I will have the determind to carry on. But i resigned to fate. Don't talk about this, i had put down a really big stone today. That's finishing my 'O' level practical. Going on further, soon, i will be finishing my coursework for F&N and hopefully i can spend more time to concentrate on my other subjects. My eyes are closing real soon becoz ytd i only slpt for 3 to 4 hours. It's really tiring becoz for the past few days i have been slping around that time. Have lack of slp and problems of different kinds keep coming to me. Family and BGR. CW, we are barely 8 months and we are experiencing so much obstacles. Please let's pray to God more k. Maybe it can help to improve on our relationships back to the style like the first 3 months. I never lie. It's really fucking duper sweet. It has always been my memories and wish to go back. Although it seems impossible nwadays. Almost everyday we r having quarrels and all those stupid things.

2006-04-20T16:40:00.000+08:00

blanked；
I don't know why but i 'm just nt feeling good today. Perhaps i am too tired? And that makes my temper boils. I believe Love should be perfect and nice throughout. And i want my love journey to be the same. But sometimes i can't get it. Hoho. Let 's make it to be perfect dear. Really fucking stress about tmr 's practical. Fuck that teacher. Really angry with her sometimes. Rushing ppl as she thought we are robots. And fuck u k , stop comparing us with ur FORMER students. If u love them so much, pls do pack up and go. I won't miss u at all. I'm stress abt everything nw. Everything comes to my mind has been digested into stress. Family, friends, bf and school. Sad to say that i'm nt happy in this family at all. Parents are juz unreasonable like hell. Can't think of anything to post nw. sorry peeps

2006-04-18T21:27:00.000+08:00

my dad~
He's having moodswing today i think? From the minute he stepped into the house he scolded me! Fuck him man. Spoil my whole afternoon! And again, for nothing he scolded me for not attending today School's sports day when he already knew that i won't be going! Fuck him twice! So he did talk to me juz nw when he's feeling better i guess? But i ignored him. When the hell did we have just a rule that we should be the ones u are giving ur anger to? Sorry, i don't admit defeat at all. I have looked through the recipes that i'm going to cook for my practical on thurs and i'm quite relieved that i think i'm able to handle it. Hohoho. Because when i was choosing the dishes, i was in a rash! So tmr will be the day i'm going to shop for my ingredients. Another good news is that i have already received the e-mail from mediacorp for the collection of my phone! Ok, gonna collect it soon before the it's dued. But the phone is not what i wanted. So, nt so much of joy actually. My day today is not bad except for being scolded. So guys, carry on waiting.

2006-04-18T14:47:00.000+08:00

sick~
Got food poisoning and fever becoz of that stupid KUEY i bought frm that khatib pasa malam. So irritating, because i got a terrible stomachache and high fever during midnight and cause me to be absent from sch for monday. But it was quite alright nw, except that still have abit of stomache and headache. Comment on my dear laogong that bought me a meat porridage back home for me to eat and accompany me at home. My best husband! Got tons and tons of homework to be done. And a practical exam for O level this thursday, i have yet tried out my recipe. Nvm. Tml i'm going to try it out. Hope it would be fine. Can't fail this subject because it's one of the sub i'm going to concentrate on for my 'O's! That's all peeps

2006-04-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

Today~
Wake up early in the morning at 6. Bath and all these, we reached Redhill at around 7 plus 8. Wait till 10 plus be4 it's our turn. Asked for my great-grandma. I can just say i was really surprised at that time because at first didn't really believe this kinda thing. Ah ma, since so long i have called u since today. I really missed calling u. And u touching my hand and remind me to study hard over and over again. I don't know if i have this chance again. To hear u saying u dote on me so much. Now that we know that u are happy down there with ah gong and so many ppl we were relieved. I really regret not cherishing u when u are with us. Sorry i didn't get to have a second chance.

2006-04-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

Gosh~
Gonna start everything anew. My lifestyle and all and i hoped to get used to it asap.
Ok, today is really a bad day. My sis not going Genting anymore. So what abt me? Hais, and the tickets had already been booked. And it's going to b three days there. I agreed to go so as not to disappoint my dad. Ok, really ate alot today. Hohoho.. since like everyday i ate alot isn't it? So mad thinking abt my coursework. I have to buy all the ingredients myself. Damn that fcuking teacher. Damn her to be so mean to me!

I'm hurt when i gave my trust to his words and found out that i'm being betrayed.
I'm sad to lose him because of this.
I cried because i knew i can't let everything go even after i leave
I will be missing his presence with me but all these are gone
Because of one thing he did and i can't stand
And i need to hold on to my tears infront of everyone and say that i'm fine
when actually i'm not at all.
Because that guy whom i loved deeply and ready to stood by him
betrayed my trust.
I can trust no one more.

2006-04-15T13:33:00.000+08:00

Now i know~
U are a flirt! Yes! Leopard cannot change it's spot. And i was too naive to believe u. I ended everything, our future, memories and all. I don't wanna keep all these. It hurts. I will have a new start from nw. No use brooding over the past and someone that is not worth it! TAke care. We are not getting together again.

2006-04-14T22:54:00.000+08:00

Went Zoo today~
Quite fun there. LOlx But too tired today so can't recall back. More to be recall back tml~
so shag nw

2006-04-13T22:31:00.000+08:00

Zoo tml. =)

Coing to Zoo tml. Hohoho. Since so long ago i haven step in there. But i'm afraid that the weather would be hot or rain. So gonna bring a cap and umbrella along. Weee~ have to start packing my bag tonight. If not i will be rushing tmr morning. Feeling so tired nw. I'm starting to get the stress of being a Sec 5 student! Teachers are all rushing when they teach, higher demands for hmework and i am nt catching up! I am already slacking in lessons for History and social studies. Others are still alrite, i'm still working hard i guess? Don't wish to waste another one year in this sch and then end up in ITE next year. That's nt going to b the case. Argh.. Stress thinking about that. My next exam is coming soon~ 2 more weekks i guess? Hmm.. that faT pig so late haven come online.. waste my time waiting 4 him! LOLx. That fatpig i'm talking abt is the only who dotes me the most. Love him so much but he always wan *luan luan xiang becoz juz nw i nv giv him kiss. I don't noe how to address it to u, but don't waste ur time on luan luan xiang ler~ because i have no other guy and i love no one other than u, that is Mr KorCheewEe. Though sometimes i admit that i treat u not good. Wahaha. Cause girls got moodswing, esp me.

2006-04-13T00:12:00.000+08:00

Bad day~
My dad seems to be having pms today! He was like scolding me and giving attitude don't know for what reasons. He's lame. Can't say too much about this. Let's put aside this. Talk 'bout that fatpig ba. Always like to act like small baby. Blehx. But treat me very good as in 'good' in bullying me! Wahaha. LaOgong oOo, treat me better k.. i know u trying ur best le but still not enough. I wants to be the most xinfu wife k. I WANT TO BE UR WIFE! I don't care whether u wants me norT. But i want u. Only u throughout my life with me without anyone else. And i know u can't live without me too! i'm so excited thinking about the phone i'm going to buy! Pink for me and urs is blue. So sweet rite. Thanks for ur everything i wanna say. I really treasure u and the times we are together because it's always so sweet. Eating with u, joking and fooling around. Love u honey. Don't ever leave me. Muacks

2006-04-11T21:57:00.000+08:00

It hurts.
Maybe u don't it is, i was pointing at what u have just said an hour before. U doubt it. I can't think anything nw. To think that i have given everything, but still i can't get what i want. Maybe u think that it's irritating to be talking to me and i don't reply u. But have u ever thought of urself? For every 3 hours we meet. At least 2 hours of that u wants or were in arcade. And this is not the first time. Yes, other guys do have their girlfriends besides them for game, but for me ain't it too long? There's no point telling u anything because i think it's useless. U can never get the fact right. Even that, i have no right to remain silence when i'm angry and have no right to throw temper because of this. And furthermore, u still doubt that there were other reasons. U doubt me. I don't wanna reply ur two msgs because i think it's useless. Everything is useless since u can doubt me of this. It's useless to think. No one would cares. I hate seeing u walking away from me, living me in that place. But already did it. I hate staring at ur back feeling u away from me. But i have to accept all these because it's fate.
Am so stress about about the F&N project nw. Father, please, i really prayed that things will really go smooth for me. I am stress about everything. Send me an angel and bring me up with u. I don't wish to stay at this place which Satan is controlling. It's taking away my soul and polluting my mind. But how can i?

2006-04-10T17:51:00.000+08:00

Back here again.
LOLx.. i fought with my father juz nw. And what the hell, he thought that he is so strong as ever but i proved him wrong. He wanted to pin me down but sorry again, he was the one being pinned down. And it was by me. Wahaha. Slapped his shoulder and dared him for a fight. Hehe. So naughty. We are going on a Family Genting Trip. It's confirmed just nw, on the 9th of June. Really shag today, and i slept through the lessons. Din't understand maths chapter currently. And have to finish tons and tons of maths hmework that was left undone during the weekends by TODAY if not Mrs Goh is going to kill me tmr. And i'm so stressed about my F&N coursework! Have to decide my dishes on Wed which is only two days away! How can? She is really rushing me mad! Damn her man. So excited, visiting Zoo this friday with Laogong. Though there are times when we are mad at each other, have different opinions, do different things but at all times i knew, he always love and care for me with all his heart. And that's enough. There are times when i think of leaving and say those words that i knew would hurt u but at all times i do love and care for u. And i know u knew that i don't meant what i say. That's why u forgave me everytime. There's something that i'm really proud of, that is having u standing beside me is really an honour. I don't sweet talk and i really mean what i have said. Trust me. I din't say this to anyone else be4. It's real.

2006-04-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

Another saturday~
Today is fun and i feel that the time passes so fast today. Cause i haven't spent enough time with him yet. Wahaha. Play arcade today, so scared that can't get rid of the arcade addict next time and will be like last time playing a few dollarz everyday! That's not going to be the case man. Oh ya, maybe we have spent too long a time in the arcade so time passes past. Next time don't. Fatpig, i really enjoy the time like today we didn't quarrel(don't say abt the first hour becoz i nt happy being bully!). Enjoy eating chicken wings with u, holding ur hands and so many things that we had. U CANNOT bully me le k? I am the one who always dunno from where the hell come kena bully and after that being pointed that i am the one bullying ppl. Hohoho. I love u as ever. Dint change one bit except it getting deeper and deeper. Very tired nw and so i can't think much. Nth else to say just wanna repeat one more time that i'll love u forever. This is not going to change. Muacks.

2006-04-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

U made me disppointed
Don't think that if other girls can tolerate u scolding vulgar to them and they can take it, u can give it to me. Sorry, i'm not going to be angry over this. But i really despised u. U are just another one like some other guys who scolded vulgar at their gfs! I despised them just like u! U said that u are wasting sms on me? Yes, i really wan to leave. Because i really can't take it. We can't be together because we are really different. You are making me so sick and fustrated everytime. I just asked something a normal bf would giv their gf. Something that i don't have. And u say that i'm too guo fen. I really can't stand u anymore. Just say i'm a bytch to keep asking and asking. But truly, i think my love for u have been in vain since u can say like this. Don't bother to give me sweet talk because i don't need it anymore. I'm strong. I don't need what thost 13 and 14 years old would need. Coaxing and sweet talk from there puppy love. Sorry, i need care and attention. That's something that u have not given me for the past 7th month. And i'm tired of it.

2006-04-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

Another new blogskin
There's abit new to my blogskin this time. Last time i chose all with dark blackgrounds, but nw i chose to remain white. Hoho. It's so artistic to me! Btw, so real relaxed to spend my whole day at hme because i need nt attend school today. And i was so bored that i even found a new cursor for my mouse! It's a pig that have wings. I have many to choose from. So i can change it everyday. Still brooding over the Genting Trip. My sis is not going and so i am nw hesitating whether to go. Cause there's no one to play with there. Everyone have their own company there expt me. What a boring trip it would be if i were to be there. But my parents kept forcing me. I don't get it sometimes. What is not good abt being in Singapore during the Holidays. It's so nice being here k. I am a typical Singaporean and I love Singapore so much!
And sometimes i feel so irritated by him. He always doesn't giv a damn abt me. Don't bother to even msg me in the afternoon, came hme also didn't. Say will be here in msn, but nw? Let it be, he's like that. I can't change the fact right? So be it. And nw, I'm getting fustrated for nothing. I guess he doesn't care much too! The fact is there and is already there, no use complusing.

2006-04-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

Nth to do.
Jus reached hme and i've got nth to do. That's why decided to post again. Second post for today so, sorry, i'm lacking of ideas. Been to sunplaza juz nw and gosh, that place is so damn small and got nth to walk about at all! Still thinking about wher to go on saturday~ because Singapore is really just too small. Can spent about two days walking around and that's it. I don't understand why sometimes i tend to brood heavily over problems that shouldn't be a problem. It really makes me so stress. I'm contented with the current blog skin but still wanna take the best one. And also, contented with my life, because i have a responsible husband with me nw who takes good care of me. Pig, pls dote on ur baby more k. * Don't keep abuse me, i got temper de k*
Oh yaya, i got a shock just nw. When i was opening the dustin, i saw some big ants if i'm nt wrong or maybe it's small cockroaches with a big one! Fuck! It really scared the hell out of me!

2006-04-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

Impressed.
I'm really impressed by ur actions. Really. I din't know u have such skills of learning so fast. After knowing u for 5 years? Yes, ur ugly side came out. The fact that nw u are hating other people for ur own mistake, or is the fact that u are just another clone of her. So before u are pointing ur fingers at others, please turn to ur back, whether there is any one pointing at u. I din't noe u are that kind of sickos till monday. Haha. Good, thanks God,though it's abit late nw, but i there's still time. We are all living for a lifetime, and true friends are supposed to be for a lifetime but i guess u are not in my life. Because i hate people like u who just love to take ur friends for granted. That's it for nw. I don't wish to spoil ur reputation. =)
Ok, lets talk about my day. I've totally given up on social studies and history because of that teacher who can't teach and makes the lesson boring! But i'm loving CHEM so much as i would prefer the whole day to be CHEM day. Really thanks to my teacher. And i'm worried abt myself. I have been really eating alot recently. First, i add a plate of rice with meat and egg. And i'm really not full at all. That rice can't full my stomach? And so, i bought another bowl of noodle. And plus two bottle of iced lemon tea and lastly a fruit as dessert, the guava. I haven finish yet even when i'm walking up to my class! I'm so greedy. LoLx

2006-04-05T22:44:00.000+08:00

Shag.
Damn tired and lazy today, but i enjoy the lessons in school expt for HISTORY. I enjoy Chem lessons by Mrs Lau cause i'm starting to get hold of this subject or rather on this topic, Moles, well. Just simple calculations will do. Ate really alot today, guess no one eat as much as me? I ate two sausage muffin and two iced milo. It cost me only abt 5 bucks? Thought i would be very full and rest for recess. But i ate a malay chicken rice with one bottle of iced lemon tea! Gosh! That's overeating man! And then i vomitted out. That's my retribution i guess. Whaha. Really tired nwadays, don't understand why too. Lucky this week and next week is going to be a short week of four days, this week will be speech day, those not involved will be spared the whole day * lucky i got myself out of it and next week will be a Good Friday. It's a public holiday. Still planning of where to go next fri. Zoo? or any other suggestions? Think of changing my blogskin again, because i wan a nicer one. But i'm lazy! The website is so fucking slow. And i'm really going on diet soon. I'm getting fatter and it's so ugly! Don't look as cute anymore! Have been rushing my F&N 'O' level coursework recently, another word, our teacher is rushing us! And i can say that i'm so suay that the research i had done that consists of 16 pages cannot be open and print! So, i have to retype all again. Just started typing just nw and i only just finished the third page. Although i enjoy typing, but it's just too tiring. All those adjusments must be the same and blah blah blah. This is giving me so much stress. Have to come up with my three dishes by next week? Development, Decision making, recipes, food order and planning. That's so alot. I wanna complain! I've got no enough time! Bodoh. Shall end here. Look forward for another post peeps!

2006-04-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

Real bad day.
Sorry, i can't really think right nw. My mind is in a mess and i don't know what am i thinking nw. And i'm feeling damn fucking down peeps! I really don't know if i'm really right to get into this relationship. Pls don't blame me for nt believing ur love. Because i had long lose confidence in guys, esp when they say they are true to me, only me and these are all fucking bullshits that doesn't come out from their heart and the worse thing is i took it fucking real seriously! Ain't i dumb enough? First, second and third. They are all the same. I can't figure out sometimes why all these things happened to me u understand! Guys like to take gurls as their toys in relationship and girls took guys as their treasure!! T-R-E-A-S-U-R-E. Don't wanna think much. If one day we are still separated again. I won't hold back. I will accept that we are not meant to be.

2006-04-03T20:03:00.000+08:00

Fuck. I'm fucking damn irritated by my dad!
Damn fucking irritated by him. He forced me to go Genting! And furthermore, he used a Family Gathering as excuse. So what, i don't have a choice right from the start. Stop treating me like a fucking 4 years old kid when that's compulsory to bring me along! U don't understand k! I don't play along well with those cousins of mine! Fuck, this is going to be the lousiest trip i'm getting! Sorry, and i am really fumed nw. I feel like shouting out like a mad woman on the street pulling her own hair but i can't! Don't think that u are the head of this household and what's the fucking big deal! U can order ur children even ur mother around as if they are ur slave? NO WAY ALRIGHT! I'm nt going to be order around by u like nw i can't even protest! Living under this type of roof is really a torture to me. I'm a 17 years old kid. Not S-E-V-E-N. For goodness sake. Not going to say more, pls reflect on urself.

2006-04-03T15:30:00.000+08:00

Meow~
Jus came back from sch today, i'm damn shag nw. Having been slping for the lessons after recess becoz i had really no mood to study and to talk. And the Trevor just keep waking me up! He's irritated by me keep slping in his class and i'm irritated by him keep waking me up! Lolx. Erm, let me comment abt something personal. Yes, i sometimes feel that i'm irritating to keep calling him juz nw but that's becoz i nt happy he hang my phone. Wahaha. Din't know i have such power to keep call and call and irritate ppl.. hehex.. U know how am i trained. Because last time, i need to wake my friend up and she's always slping like a log! So i will keep call and call till she wake up. The highest no. of call i gave to her was 50 plus if i'm nt wrong! Going to take a good nap after this, oh nono, is after one more bowl of mee sua. My grandma cooked meesua today. That's my favourite. Because before my great-grandma passed away last year, we get to eat mee sua and mee siam every first day of lunar chinese new year everytime we visited her hse. And we are always the first one to reach! This year, again we had, but the taste is different and we can't see her anymore. I really miss her presence sometimes because she's really so dear to me. Sorry, i can't control my emotions everytime i think deep into that. And it's always late at night and feeling her maybe talking to me when i'm covering with her blanket she gave to me and my sis each of us one each. Really missed her but all i can do is just to visit her grave, talk to her there and touch her there. There's nth else i can do.

2006-04-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

Sunday.
Woke up at 11 plus 12. Sorry, although i'm blogging nw but my mind is still in a mess. Din't noe even till nw am i suppose to be going to visit my great-grandma. I'm afraid if i have to put it off my dad would giv me a good scolding and pull my ear off to go! It's not that i din't want to and she's nt impt to me. But i din't know i have to go till ytd and it's a last min thing and no one expt my grandma have hinted me that it's a must to attend! Furthermore, i don't think my grandma make this a compulsory one. So what am i to do nw. I have to go farmart ltr as promised. And tonight there's a campus superstar final! Yes, I wan and yearns to watch it! I feel so unease about the dream i had last night. Although it's not a nightmare but it huants me till nw. I'm weird. I feel that whenever i had something to say, i feel like blogging. Because i don't like telling "grandma" stories" to my listener if i have one, becoz i'm afraid i am going to bore them to slp! Wahaha. That's so embarrassing. That's why i have the urge to keep things to myself everytime. If not, sometimes when i'm really helpless, i confide to my two baby hamster. I'm not sure whether they would understand or even give a damn to me but at least i felt better after that. And nw, i have lots and lots of things to say. Something private but how. I feel so uneasy nw. I have the urge to fly to Genting nw. Thinking back last year, went with my sister and friends, that's really enjoyable. But don't quite like going with family members because it's not thrilling enough for me. Hohoho. Yes, i am going to fly ther for sure. That's when my 'O' level is done and i have worked to save enough. Btw, it's only a few hundred bucks! Fast and easy. Friends, please start saving nw too. I hope to get another trip there. And this time pls make sure that we really enjoy more than enough. And lastly nt to forget u my dear, i hope there's a chance to travel with u too!

2006-04-01T19:16:00.000+08:00

Gd Saturday ~
Meet cw today, feel sorry for him.. becoz he was being bullied my me.. hohoho.. i don't mean it dear.. i love u too much to even bully u.. and u still told me u think of leaving tonight actually. I almost cried k! sorry that i have to bold it. Lolx.. Took our 3rd neoprint.. hehex.. more to come k.. and Baby, Today is our 7th month! sorry that i have to bold it again becoz this mean much to me.. haha.. Went to causewaypoint timezone, crystal jade for two chicken wings, sushi and yoshinoya! Yummy, but i still had not enough of the chicken wings yet. It's so nice. And then to sunplaza arcade.. saw adeline and an an.. Hmm.. still alrite and playing those arcade games and chatting with her brought me back to our last time. It's fun! But i rather not have it because i think there are more impt things for me nw. I have him around with me nw, my studies, i'm trying to do well this year and happiness that i cant get last time. She was one of my besti but i guess past is past. Once again, i must comment, i have nt been feeling so happy since last week. It's because of himm he's with me and i feel safe and good. Love u baby. =)

2006-03-31T23:50:00.000+08:00

lalalas.
Wanna talk about my day today. It's so freaking boring for me. Did nth except sitting in front of the television staring at the shows AS IF i enjoy it alot.LOLZ.School is fun but looking at books are.. somethings are indescrible to me. Ok. Laogong, don't doubt me of my love for u. As i promised and said, i'll love u forever. i will. Because u are my treasure, my life. I no longer care what others will say. I just wans u to be mine. Recently we have been quarrelling alot. No peace and i'm the one who always bring up the topic.But i promise *Break won't ever appears in my dictionary k? I know it was not in urs ever. I'm gulity of that. But i mentioned that sometimes because i'm mad! Ok. Let me keep the first post short. To be continued.